You can't be loved by everyone. You can't love everyone. But there is always a dream, a desire to have something special in your life. I thought I had one but I lost it. And now I feel like im on an island and staring at a ship that's slowly drifting away. Maybe that ship held many promises, many surprises but I chose to let it sail. Why? I am too scared to take chances. Too scared of that unknown. And I guess it's the main reason why I am not able to make a decent change in my life.
And now when people ask me what I think about love...I really go blank. I so badly screwed up my first try that I really can't think I am gonna survive the next. I am not even thinking about it that much but there is always a temptation to have someone, to know someone...is there anyone?
Friday 31 October 2008
Just one day OR 23 hours and 59 minutes.
I dream of freedom even in misery. I dream of hope even when I have nothing to be hopeful about. Maybe I just need a reason not to give up. Maybe I just need a reason not to kill myself because I may be a coward.
Within those peaceful sceneries ...I see myself driving along with a smile on my face. The cool breeze settling on my face and within my hair. My eyes outshining the sun from happiness. No worries, no fears and certainly no pain. I would trade anything for this one day. The day where time tries to catch up with me. Such a day may never exist or maybe it will. That solely depends on how much I believe in such a day. It wont be difficult but will certainly be painful to reach such a euphoric state. But when I do I would certainly write a book on this one day. Stating every feeling, every thought and every emotion. Noting down every thing I touched, heard and saw. I wouldn't want to miss anything on that day. I wouldn't want to be missed on that day. Just me by myself for 24 hours. That is all I ask. Too much? Who cares because real or not real I will continue to fantasize about it and no one can do anything about it!
Within those peaceful sceneries ...I see myself driving along with a smile on my face. The cool breeze settling on my face and within my hair. My eyes outshining the sun from happiness. No worries, no fears and certainly no pain. I would trade anything for this one day. The day where time tries to catch up with me. Such a day may never exist or maybe it will. That solely depends on how much I believe in such a day. It wont be difficult but will certainly be painful to reach such a euphoric state. But when I do I would certainly write a book on this one day. Stating every feeling, every thought and every emotion. Noting down every thing I touched, heard and saw. I wouldn't want to miss anything on that day. I wouldn't want to be missed on that day. Just me by myself for 24 hours. That is all I ask. Too much? Who cares because real or not real I will continue to fantasize about it and no one can do anything about it!
Deserted lover
Like a forgotten song...
Like an unheard echo...
You vanished from my world
Why did you simply let me go?
And I still feel like a fool
By holdin on to your shadow
And I still feel betrayed
U deserted me without letin me kno
Now the wind whispers in my ear
And the silence taunts me everywhere
"So is this what you get?
After loving him so?"
And I smile like a fool
With a tear in my eye
While I read your letters
Your every false promise, your every lie
But fear not, I won't let you know
I won't let you come back
I won't let u hurt my ego
So you can go wherever you wish
And you can live without any guilt
Because I won't let you know
I won't let you hurt my ego, anymore...
Like an unheard echo...
You vanished from my world
Why did you simply let me go?
And I still feel like a fool
By holdin on to your shadow
And I still feel betrayed
U deserted me without letin me kno
Now the wind whispers in my ear
And the silence taunts me everywhere
"So is this what you get?
After loving him so?"
And I smile like a fool
With a tear in my eye
While I read your letters
Your every false promise, your every lie
But fear not, I won't let you know
I won't let you come back
I won't let u hurt my ego
So you can go wherever you wish
And you can live without any guilt
Because I won't let you know
I won't let you hurt my ego, anymore...
Tuesday 21 October 2008
A Resilient Rebel
It's this temptation to run or sometimes temptation to scream. Like you have the ticket to freedom right infront but you can't get hold of it since your tied down. It's as if reality mocks you while the future awaits right infront of you. Sounds more like the "donkey and carrot" dilemma. And the people you love, question your judgement. They will prefer believing in all the negativity in this world rather than believing in you. Ya...that's when the temptation to run or scream starts to build up real fast. What's worse? You are so badly tied down that all you can do is ask for one chance to prove yourself. You are solely at the mercy of those people who have sworn to shield you but somehow they end up hurtin you.
We all have been in these situations and the frustration can be beyond imagination. It's like you're stuck in a quicksand and the harder you try the more you get sucked into. What's weirder? Often it is us ourselves who aren't just lettin go off whatever it is holding us back. Call it anything; loved ones, past, memories, mistakes etc. Some people simply give up and label it as "Sacrifice". While some keep struggling, others choose to be blind. But once in a while a rebel is always born. He chooses to let go off anything that prevents him from advancing. Yeah...you can call him "self-centered" or "selfish" but he isn't any different from those who hold others back. He chooses to breathe for himself and according to me that is no crime. But in the eyes of this world it's a sin. But as long as this sin sets you free then I think it's worth a shot. As for this world, initially they will try to bring you down but then they'll just get used to you.
So yeah this can all be summed up in the words of an American lawyer, Clarence Seward Darrow, who said,
"As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever"
We all have been in these situations and the frustration can be beyond imagination. It's like you're stuck in a quicksand and the harder you try the more you get sucked into. What's weirder? Often it is us ourselves who aren't just lettin go off whatever it is holding us back. Call it anything; loved ones, past, memories, mistakes etc. Some people simply give up and label it as "Sacrifice". While some keep struggling, others choose to be blind. But once in a while a rebel is always born. He chooses to let go off anything that prevents him from advancing. Yeah...you can call him "self-centered" or "selfish" but he isn't any different from those who hold others back. He chooses to breathe for himself and according to me that is no crime. But in the eyes of this world it's a sin. But as long as this sin sets you free then I think it's worth a shot. As for this world, initially they will try to bring you down but then they'll just get used to you.
So yeah this can all be summed up in the words of an American lawyer, Clarence Seward Darrow, who said,
"As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever"
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